Missing Scenes from Suturing a Heart
by Amiyrasmom
Summary: This is a collection of scenes that I couldn't quite fit into the story for various reasons. It doesn't change anything about the original story though some of the scenes might clear up some confusion. Hope you enjoy them. Will contain alternate viewpoints at times. This isn't just Mer and Mark people.
1. You are not a nurse

**_Disclaimer: It's been forever since I wrote one of these so I could be wrong but I think I'm supposed to say that I own Grey's Anatomy. What?! It isn't? You mean I don't own Grey's? Well…that just…sucks and I don't think I want to write this anymore. I meant the disclaimer not the story._**

**_A/N: So this is just like summary says. Missing scenes from Suturing a Heart. If you have any scenes you want to read then let me know and I'll try to write them. There won't really be any titles but I'll try to put the characters and episode or chapter at the top so you won't get lost._**

**Meredith and Alex**

**A Hard Day's Night**

He found her in the basement. It was somehow appropriate that she was hiding in the bowels of the hospital. Far away from patients or doctors or any other human contact. She was stretched out on her back on an old gurney, her legs straight out in front of her crossed at the ankles and her arms behind her head. Her ever present phone rested on her stomach and her unblinking eyes stared at the ceiling above her.

"Hey," he said in a low voice, uncertain of how she would react to his presence in her obvious sanctuary.

Her eyes flicked over to him and then returned to the ceiling. "Hi." While her voice wasn't warm and welcoming it wasn't hostile or unfriendly either.

Knowing he wasn't going to be sent away, he left his spot at the corner and mirrored her position on the gurney lying end to end with hers. A few more inches closer and they would bump heads. Again he was struck by the appropriateness of their states. The basement was dim and quiet. It took someone just as damaged and every bit as dark to understand another. And he could tell, from the moment he met her, he could tell that she had taken some hits from life. But she just kept going. She obviously didn't know how to do anything else. A kindred spirit. It was comforting, even if she came to hate him.

"You're not a nurse," he whispered. He wouldn't give her an apology. He wasn't that kind of guy. But he could give her that comment. Something inside demanded it.

"I know," she returned, her voice as quiet as his had been. It was as though if they spoke too loudly then something would shatter irreparably. Something that was indefinable and precious. Something that was theirs alone. A beginning.

"I shouldn't have said it." He admitted, that thing inside pushing him a little farther, wanting to see what she would do with the words he was giving her.

"No," her voice had something in it. Forgiveness, amusement, determination…just something. Yes, she was a kindred spirit. She gave the words in the same way as he did. Weapons or comfort. It all depended on how the person receiving them took them. She would take them as they were meant. Always. And that was a comfort to him. Very few ever bothered to actually think about what they were saying much less what he was saying without using the words that everyone else did.

He sighed, contentment filling his empty heart, and his eyes drifted closed for a long moment. "I'm an ass," he eventually admitted. He wasn't apologizing. He didn't apologize to anyone, ever. He never lied either. He had a feeling that she didn't either.

"Yes," she agreed and the amusement was now even more evident. He didn't mind it. Something about her said she didn't find true amusement in very much. Neither did he. So it was okay that she was pretty much laughing at him. Maybe she'd tell him why one day. Maybe she wouldn't have to tell him.

They fell into silence again. It wasn't heavy or uncomfortable. It wasn't a silence where they were searching for something to say. It was just…silence. He rather liked it. It had been a very long time since he could simply be with someone else around.

Her pager beeped loudly and they both startled. She checked the read out, leapt from the gurney and hurried to the hall that led back up to the hospital. Back up to the noise and the people and the life they both sometimes needed a break from. She stopped at the corner, with one hand resting on the wall and looked back at him. "Alex?" Her voice still carried that hush of something beginning. "My best friend…he's an ass too. So, it's okay. I'm not saying I won't call you on it but it's okay." She turned and dashed away, her former amusement explained.

He smiled up at the dark ceiling knowing that something precious had started in that basement. Something that might prove to be the saving of them both. Because they were both damaged by life but they were still fighting. And she might be brighter than him. She might be a bit further along the path to shiny than he was but that just meant that she could show him the way. Yes, she was the kindred spirit he'd been looking for without ever knowing it and he followed her a single step up that path to shiny. He knew that he'd follow her anywhere now.


	2. Creepy House

**Mer and Mark**

**Pre-series**

One eyebrow rose as the familiar ringtone broke the quiet of his office. That was Angel's ringtone. Why was she calling him now? She usually didn't call so often, not that he really minded. They'd talked the day before when she'd called to let him know she'd made it safely to Seattle. She wouldn't be calling now if she didn't have something to say though. "Hey Angel," he answered with a worried tone. "What's wrong?" He always answered her calls. Always.

"Nothing," her voice came back to him easily with a hint of amusement to it. She appreciated his concern though. "It's just…I'm in Seattle. I'm in my mother's house in Seattle. And I start my internship in two weeks. And I'm in Seattle." She wasn't sure why she'd had to call him and she wasn't sure why she was so agitated but she just needed to hear his voice. So she'd given into the nagging feeling and called him even though she'd spent nearly an hour with him on the phone the day before.

"Yes you are," he nodded even though he knew she couldn't see him. She was freaking out. She called him because she had finally truly realized exactly what she'd gotten herself into. And now she was stuck in that house with its horrid memories and she was freaking out. And she had called him. That fact gave him a warm feeling he wasn't quite sure what to do with. "You freaking out?" He asked only to point it out to her because sometimes she wasn't aware that she was. She'd just keeping freaking out until she finally stopped and breathed and called him to fix it for her. He always did…or at least tried to talk her down and then they'd figure out what to do together. It wasn't like he'd never done the same but usually just knowing she was on the other end calmed him down enough to think.

"No," she denied quickly though her voice was uncertain. "Yes? I…I don't know really." She paused, thought and drew in a long breath. He'd been right. She was freaking out. She really needed to stop doing this. Sooner or later he'd realize what a headcase she was and he'd cut off all contact. She needed to be stronger. "I just…I don't know anyone here and I'm not sure why it was so important for me to take this spot in this program. I knew it was important before but now…why did I move all the way here when everyone else I know is…well, not here. And I'd forgotten how much I hate this house. But I'm here. And I don't know why I came here." She finished in a dispirited tone sure that he'd finally get fed up with her issues.

"Because you…needed something else," he suggested though he knew that wasn't what had prompted her. He really wished she'd come to New York instead. At least then he could hold her and tell her that everything would be all right and have her believe him. "Besides Seattle Grace is one of the top teaching hospitals in the country." He wasn't going to dump his loneliness in her lap and let her know how hurt he really was that she hadn't come to him. "It's a great place to learn." That wasn't it either but he wasn't really sure why she'd chosen Seattle either. History or a need to change the memories or something he was willing to bet. He was usually right when it came to her and her neurosis. Which might be a sad commentary on his life but he didn't much care. And even though she'd chosen to move all the way across the country from him he knew that she'd needed to do this. She'd needed to exorcise a few ghosts.

"True," she sighed heavily and held the phone tighter to her ear as though he could feel the embrace she was mentally sending to him. "Still…I miss you. And it's raining. And I just…this house is dusty and feels so empty and big. And all the furniture is covered with those dust thingies. It's kinda creepy." She needed to lighten the atmosphere between them. She couldn't keep calling him only when she had a problem. He wasn't her therapist. He was her…whatever.

Mark chuckled at her in an effort to lighten her mood before it spiraled into the darkness that seemed to plague her sometimes. "So take the covers off, Angel." He told her with a kind of fond exasperation in his tone. That wasn't what he'd meant when he'd thought about her exorcising ghosts.

She giggled lightly. "I started to and then I spent five whole minutes sneezing. Seriously. I sneezed for like five minutes straight. It was awful." She shook her head at herself knowing the story would amuse him.

His only answer was to laugh helplessly. God he missed her.


	3. You're an Ass

**Alex and Meredith**

**Somewhere between The Name of the Game and Blues for Sister Someone**

She knew she'd find him here. She hadn't even really had to think about it. The tunnels were theirs. More even than Cris and Izzie and George the tunnels were theirs. Hers and Alex's. The others said that the tunnels at night were a little creepy but Meredith and Alex never found them so. The tunnels were quiet at night. Even more quiet than they were during the day. And they both enjoyed the quiet at times. Probably more than they should.

She found him lying on a gurney exactly where she'd have thought he'd be if she'd given it any thought at all. "Hey," she said softly and lay down on the other gurney with her head just brushing the top of his. She wasn't going to scold him. She knew he felt bad enough already. She wasn't sure how she knew, she just did.

"Hi," he returned just as softly. They lay in silence for long minutes. Alex attempting to formulate words that would convey the feelings in his heart that he had never been comfortable with and Meredith simply waiting for whatever he would eventually need to say. "I couldn't kiss her," he finally told her in a hushed tone. He seemed scared that his words would be overheard and mocked.

Meredith nodded slightly and stared up at the ceiling for a few more minutes. She'd expected him to finally get that off his chest. "Why not?" She asked even though she thought she already knew the answer.

Alex groaned and she felt him moving. She held perfectly still knowing that even a twitch of movement would make him stop. "She…she's Izzie," he stuttered out in a strangled voice that somehow told her more than his words ever could. "She's perfect and beautiful and sweet and stuff. And I'm not any of those things so what right do I have to mar that with…well, me?"

Meredith sighed heavily at his confession and turned over to lay on her stomach and look at him. He'd done the same and his gaze entreated her to make everything make sense for him. "You're not a bad guy, Alex," she told him earnestly. "And…don't you think that should be her decision?" Her blue-gray eyes held steady on his.

Alex groaned and let his head fall to rest on his arms. "Probably," he admitted and his shoulders gave a great shrug with his indrawn breath. "But…" Again the words deserted him.

Meredith reached over and smacked the back of his head lightly in exasperation. "Knock it off" she ordered. "You're an ass but obviously she likes it that way. So stop being…you and just suck it up." She nodded to herself. Why were all her favorite men so…well, stupid?

Alex barked out a surprised laugh and shook his head against his arms. "Thanks a lot." He huffed out and then pushed himself up and off of the gurney. He knew that someone would come looking for them if they stayed gone too long and he didn't want to deal with other people in their sanctuary. "We should head back to work," he held out a hand for her and pulled her to her feet when she accepted it. "I get it," he told her and stared into her blue-gray eyes for a long moment as if searching for all the answers he didn't have. "I'll…I'll think about it." It was the only promise he could give.

Meredith hooked her arm through his and nodded, satisfied. "That's all I'm askin' for, green bean," she grinned at him and leaned her head on his shoulder glad that she'd found him. "That's all I'm asking for." Some small part of her wanted Alex and Izzie to work everything out but she didn't truly believe that they ever would. They were far too different to ever really go the distance.


	4. Derek's View

**Derek**

**A Hard Day's Night**

He was losing what was left of his mind and he knew it. He couldn't seem to get her out of his head today. It had been one night. Just one night but he thought it might have changed his entire life.

She…Meredith…had been…so enchanting. He had been completely charmed and bowled over by her. So free and sexy and just…different from…He stopped that line of thought in its tracks. He was not going to think about that woman. She was gone. Forever. He would much prefer to think about the woman whose floor he'd woken up on this morning. It had been a nice floor. And a nice woman. Meredith, his mind whispered to him. Just her name. Over and over. Maybe he really was going insane.

He'd left her house this morning like she'd wanted, like she'd pretty much ordered him to, but he'd felt a pang of pain in his chest as he had. He hadn't wanted to leave her. Leaving Meredith seemed somehow like going against the natural order of the universe. She was stuck under his skin now. And he didn't think he'd ever get rid of her…or that he'd want to.

She'd been on his mind all the way back to the trailer, the memories playing on repeat. She'd invaded his thoughts while he changed his clothes for work with possibilities for the future. Her face had played on repeat in his brain on the ferry ride back with her smiles and her eyes and her cute little nose. And he kept thinking he caught glimpses of her as he'd met his staff at work around the corner or across the hall and once he'd even thought he'd heard her laugh.

Derek felt that distinct tingle along the back of his neck, the hairs pricking up and the shiver of knowing. Somehow he was certain that someone was watching him. He lifted his eyes discretely and then blinked in shock at the figure across the room. Was he hallucinating? He had to be. That couldn't possibly be Meredith standing across the room with that deer in the headlights look. Could it?

He was suddenly positive that it was her and that fate had finally dealt him a good hand. But he could be wrong so when she whirled away and disappeared through a door he chased after her. He knew how very unprofessional he was acting, he just didn't care. He had to know. He'd never had to chase after a woman in his life and he wasn't quite sure how he felt about it right now but he was willing to give it a go. Besides he hadn't felt quite so alive in months.

He finally caught up to her in the stairwell. She was fast. "Stop laughing!" He heard her yell at someone. "God I hate you!" He watched her warily for a moment and then she pulled her hand from her ear, clicked her phone shut and turned to face him. Relief filled him. She wasn't crazy…maybe. Probably.

He wanted to ask her about the call but…he didn't. He knew he would find out eventually why she vowed her hatred of someone even as her eyes held amusement and affection as she did. Though really, he told himself, it wasn't any of his business. So he didn't ask her about the phone call. Besides those green eyes were snapping fire and that sight easily distracted him. He wanted that fire. It had been far too long since he'd felt anything like this. Anything like the warmth that she brought with her as she invaded his heart and soul.

He knew she was right about how much trouble their relationship would be. She hadn't put it in those words but he knew what she'd meant. However he was the moth and she was the flame that called to him. He couldn't seem to help himself. He wanted her with everything inside of him. He would have her. And maybe he'd finally be happy.


	5. Conversations with Mark

**Mark**

**Between Winning the Battle, Losing the War and No Man's Land**

Mark frowned at the cell phone resting on his desk. It was emitting the unknown caller ring tone and he wasn't altogether sure he wanted to answer it. He was busy with paperwork and he'd stayed up way to late last night on the phone with his Angel. All he wanted to do was crawl back into his bed and pretend his world hadn't been smashed by one woman's selfishness.

His shoulders relaxed when the phone went silent and he turned his attention back to his paperwork. He'd barely set pen to paper when the phone started up again. Glaring at the offending piece of machinery he tossed the pen to the desk, scooped up the phone, hit the answer button and brought it to his ear. "Sloan," he growled in a threatening tone.

"Do you know how hard it was to get this number?" A waspish female voice snapped. "And then you don't answer and it's not like I have a lot of time to call you, you know?"

Mark frowned and stared at the wall across the room. He vaguely remembered this woman's voice but he couldn't quite reach the memory. "Maybe I don't have a lot of time to answer," he shot back as the woman's face continued to elude him.

The woman on the other end of the line laughed in a low, rolling tone. "If I was Mer calling you, then you wouldn't be saying that."

The recognition of the voice clicked in his head and he grinned almost unwillingly. "Cris if you were my Angel then I'd never answer."

Cristina laughed again. "You say that now…" she paused and then cleared her throat. "You know I actually had a reason to call you. I've got a question for you."

Mark relaxed back in his chair and grinned. He really did like Cristina so far. Hell, he liked all of Mer's friends. "Shoot," he invited.

"So last night while we were watching that facial reconstruction you said…"

Mark smiled as he listened to her describe exactly what she wanted to know in expert terms and shook his head. His Angel had really lucked into some good people.

MS/MG MS/MG MS/MG

Mark set the phone on his desk again after he finished the call with Cristina and picked up his pen again. He did need to finish these charts. He made two entries and his phone was ringing with the unknown caller tone again. He sighed wondering who it was and stabbed the answer and speaker buttons. "Sloan," he answered with a hard tone.

"Growly much?" A bright female voice shot back at him. "When's Mer's birthday? Cuz she won't tell me and I really need to know."

Mark rubbed at the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. "What makes you think I'm going to just give out that kind of classified information, Izzie?"

Izzie groaned aloud and then sighed. "Because you're a good brother and want her to be happy on her birthday?"

Her knowing tone startled a laugh out of him. "Sure," he drawled. "You just keep telling yourself that."

"Come on," she snapped. "Just tell me already!"

Mark shook his head and continued to deny Izzie with a humorous tone to his voice. How the Hell had they both wheedled his number from his Angel? She usually guarded it like it was a state secret.

MS/MG MS/MG MS/MG

Half an hour after he'd hung up from Izzie his phone rang again. He sighed but answered it even as he locked his office door behind him and headed down the hall to go home. "Alex or George?" He asked in lieu of a hello.

"Alex," the man answered promptly. "How did you know and why didn't you list one of the girls? Does your phone have some magic ringtone that lets you know the gender of the caller?"

Mark laughed and stabbed the elevator call button with a finger. "That would be amazing, wouldn't it?" He shrugged. "The girls have already called me today."

"How'd they get the number?" Alex's voice was nearly a squawk. "I had to promise her scut duty for a week and a month of coffees whenever she wanted them!"

Mark couldn't stop the laugh that escaped him. "You been had, man," he told the other man between chuckles. "She'd have given it to you anyway. She keeps saying you and me need to meet or talk or whatever."

"Bitches probably jacked her phone last night or something," Alex muttered. "Anyway…I called for a reason."

"And that reason was…" Mark exited the elevator and headed through the parking garage to his car.

"So I got this friend…" Mark could hear Alex swallow and hesitate before he made his request. "She's got this kid, right? And the little boy was burned in a fire a couple months ago. He's four." Alex went on to explain about their financial situation and how no one would help the kid because of it.

Mark jumped happily on the chance Alex was handing him on a silver platter. He'd been getting super bored lately. He missed his Angel and he missed his brother. He'd never get the second one back but maybe…just maybe he'd get to see his Angel if he took this surgery. It wouldn't stop the pain of Addie's decision but the surgery would give him something to look forward too. He'd become a doctor to help people after all.

MS/MG MS/MG MS/MG

Angel's ringtone filled the silence of his car as he pulled onto his street. He jabbed the answer button as he finished the turn. "How did Cris and Iz get my number, Angel?" He asked before she could say anything.

"How did who what now?" She asked startled at the abrupt question.

"Cris and Izzie both called me today," he explained. "I was just wondering how they got this number since I know you wouldn't give it to them without talking to me about it first."

"They stole my phone!" She growled. "I knew the settings were different when I found it in the kitchen this morning!"

Mark laughed helplessly and parked in his driveway. "Poor Angel," he teased. "Gonna have to passcode your phone from your own friends."

"This sucks," she grumbled. "What did they say?" If they had irritated Mark she was going to deal them some damage.

"Nothing important," he consoled her. "They were fine. On the other hand…you might want to refund the scut duty for Alex."

Now Meredith laughed happily. "I notice you said nothing about refunding the month of free coffee."

"I'm not stupid," he told her and knew she'd hear the grin in his voice. "I'm not about to get between you and your coffee."

"Always knew you were a smart man," she complimented. "Are you feeling better? You sounded sad last night."

Mark sighed and unlocked his brownstone. "Yes and no," he admitted. "I'll get through it and having the phone calls helped today…" He shook his head and debated telling her about what Addie had done.

"She's had the procedure hasn't she?" Meredith asked with that uncanny insight that she sometimes called on.

Mark wasn't even surprised at her intuition. "Yeah," he sighed and sank into his favorite chair. "And she didn't even tell me about it until it was over."

"Dammit," Meredith cursed. "I'm so sorry," he could hear the tears in her soft tone. "I…I wish I could do something."

Mark laid his head back and set his phone on the arm of the chair. "Just talk to me," he requested. "About something else. Something stupid and insignificant."

"Hmm," she hummed. "Had a guy come into the emergency room today that was making sausage and didn't even realize he'd cut off his finger until he'd rolled the sausages."

"You're kidding," Mark laughed. "That's…gross actually. Did he serve the sausages or did he realize in time that his finger was in there somewhere?"

"Mark," her voice whispered nearly an hour later. "Are you awake?"

"Yeah," he murmured. "Sorta."

"Go to bed," she ordered softly. "Call me in the morning or something, okay? I miss you."

"Yeah, okay," he agreed. "I miss you too." He clicked off his phone after they'd said their goodbyes and stared at it for a long moment.

He glanced over to his bedroom door and just couldn't bring himself to go in there. He didn't want to lay down in that big cold bed alone. He'd slept alone for years and he suddenly couldn't do it. So he clutched his phone in his hand and stretched out on the couch. He couldn't have either of the women he wanted tonight and so he'd hold the only connection he had to his Angel and pray it would be enough to let him sleep.


End file.
